thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
