NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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