you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
sarcasm needs its own font
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
