i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize