My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
