it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
