New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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