i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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