if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
