We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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