I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
