I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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