Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
