i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
