It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
