just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
