They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
