3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
