I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
