Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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