was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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