I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
