yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I see more hoeing in ur future
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