just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
