Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
