so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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