Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
