Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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