Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
