In the future we'll all be gay
I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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