A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
