i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
