what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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