My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i out mim tonsoeep
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