I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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