Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The struggles of a small town man whore
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
