I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
