I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
