Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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