She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
