fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
