Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
