jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
