You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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