i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
