i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
