It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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