I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
