her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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