airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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