Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
