i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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