I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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