So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This is the high leading the old right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
NoShamevember. You game?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
