So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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