I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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