I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
