I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's shark week go big or go home
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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