Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize