Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
