you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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